The Show Is The Rainbow

I'm gonna post on my livejournal.  I'm stealing borrowing guitarvirus' bullet-style posting for this one.

- I work at Amigos again. It's been a positive switch. I'll leave in August, and this will also be a positive switch.  Where am I going?  To be honest, I don't know, but somewhere outside the state, ya know? In spite of the fact that I actually do love it here, I feel pretty good about going somewhere else.  Wherever it is, I think I'm gonna find something good.  Damn good.
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parting means such sweet morrow.

Goodbye, khaki pants. Goodbye, ten-foot rule. Goodbye geminis and telxons. Zoning and price-checks, safetey sweeps and All-Zorb, modulars and tabs, endcaps, sidekicks, updowns, turnarounds...goodbye Walmart cheer, goodbye sundown rule, goodbye horizon team, safety team, donations committee. Goodbye to all associates who have psychic powers, women with mullets, World of Warcraft gold-for-cash operation teams, weed parties, yellow teeth and the abilities to communicate with dead people and cure hives. I'll miss you all. And by all I mean like 2 or 1-ish. And by 2 or 1-ish I mean Jonah and maybe the All-Zorb.

It was a baby boy. So we bought him a toy. It was a ray gun. And it was 1981.

Remember when Eirinn and I were going to start podcasting? We lied. And now, with podcasting seeming to get more popular by the day, the idea gets lamer. Unless we were to do a really terrific one.

Automatic carwashes would be better with music. I want a carwash that plays something funky like The White Stripes or nice like Coldplay. Or maybe it could play really loud ocean sounds, perhaps with a touch of nautical flute. That would be humorous. Oh, I've got another one. You know how your seat tilts and moves when you're on a virtual reality ride? There should be something like that in an automatic carwash. I guess they could have a big screen in front of the car and have the vehicle dip and dive through waterfalls or tsunamis or something. Tsunami used to be a fun word. Remember that? I think there was a Sobe drink that had Tsunami in the name. Anyway, back to my carwash idea. Eirinn really thought of the music thing first. I sort of added the rest. I think there could be money there.

I sometimes wonder if Movie Place Video hates me because I keep their movies forever without apology. I always pay the fine when I go in, but sometimes I wonder if they recognize me when I'm getting more movies, and I wonder if they think to themselves, "How can she continue to show her face here?" They have started to sound a little hostile in the messages they leave on my voicemail. I might start uploading my Movie Place Video messages for your amusement. Or maybe I'm just saying that and I won't. Or maybe I'll do it and you won't be amused after all.

If you respond to this post, please address the following questions in brief:

1) What are your thoughts on eloping?
2) How much do you like rice krispie bars, on a scale of 1-10?
3) Have you ever enjoyed listening to Björk?
4) Should I continue to wait a month between posts?
5) Do you dig surround sound, or does it bother you?

an announcement as an apathetic alltel agent (alliteration *awink*)

"Come and get your love, come and get your love, come and get your love now.
Come and get your love, come and get your love, come and get your love now."

You know the song. If you've ever called Alltel customer service, you know it like yo mutha. It's perky(but demanding) lyrics are all over their commercials, emblazened onto business cards, pamphlets, everywhere. Why the choice of theme song? How does "come and get your love" cleverly tie into the cellular phone service industry? We were dying to know, so we caught up with Lacy, a local Alltel agent, for a brief but revealing interview.


Thank you for agreeing to this interview, Lacy. Tell us--how long have you been employed with Alltel?
Well, technically I work for Walmart Inc, which happens to deal Alltel at our location. I don't wear a Walmart vest, and don't ask me the return policy on your car stereo, but Mr. Sam still signs the paychecks, ya know? (laughs)

Not really.

Are you referring to Sam Walton?
That's what we call him.


Lacy, how do you like working as an Alltel agent?
I enjoy it. I stand at my post 9am to 6pm almost every day. Sometimes I smile at people, if I want.

Interesting. What exactly does the job entail?
At times we have customers. I can hook you up with a new phone, make changes to your service, change your phone number, as well as fill you in on interesting little tidbits of information you may not know.

Like what?
Things they don't tell you unless you ask, or have a problem, or unless you talk to me. Like, *-2-2-8.

What does that do?
It's a surprise.

Lacy, we're all dying to know about the reasoning behind Alltel's sinfully repetitive theme song. Can you give us any insight?
No. But let me know if you find out. And while you're at it, find out why Runza's played the same !@#$%&* riff on their commercials for the last twenty years.

Well, thank you for your time.